Trust
by momonono
Summary: This is an A/C and C/O story. What happens when trust is a huge block you have to get over in order to stay with the person you love? What happens if the person you love trusts you, but you shouldn't be trusted? It's Complicated. Read to find o.O
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I thought of this story after I read a really great story. I hope you guy's like a little drama, humor, and romance. This is an A/C and C/O story. It's something different. I have written the first four chapters, however I don't know how this is going to go with my readers. I seem to have a wide range of lovable readers. What happens when trust is a huge block you have to get over in order to stay with the person you love? What happens if the person you love trusts you, but you shouldn't be trusted? I present to my FanFic Readers…Trust.**

**Chapter 1**

Well, to start off, I am ADA Casey Novak. I currently work alongside Manhattan SVU. I actually wasn't always working alongside this brilliant team until three years ago, when I made a huge mistake in a case I had gotten too attached to.

I'm back now and better than ever, although I'm on probation. Meaning, I will have to be working under another ADA for a year. Her name is Alexandra Cabot. I really don't have a problem working under her. We are more the same than different in so many levels. She has to come to my office everyday to check on me. I know she resents that, I think. She just wants to rest, I guess. I have a feeling though, that maybe I'm her gateway out of our…how can I put it? Oh, legal world. However, I already have someone for that and her name is Olivia Benson.

She _is_ and always _will_ be the love of my life. We got together before I was booted off the island. We stayed in touch and here we are. One thing I am really fed up with is the fact that she used to be with Alex, before Alex went away. Once Alex finally told me she was a lesbian all she could talk about every day is her time with Olivia. I get annoyed, however I can't show her I am or I will have to explain to the whole squad that I am a lesbian. Then that will bring trouble to me outing Olivia and then Alex…we all know where this is going to end, so I avoid it as much as I can.

I have to say one good thing is that I can secretly brag to myself because I'm the one who has Olivia.

Here comes the sweet heart herself. Olivia just walked into my office wearing a sexy black dress and heels on. I am staring her up and down. I hope she doesn't notice me. I think she did.

She leans close to my desk. "Babe," she comes around and brushes her lips over mine. I love when she teases me. She touches my lips, but doesn't kiss me. "I thought you said you were going to be done?" I hate when she does that, placing all the weight on me, like it is my fault I have so much work.

"I'm almost done, Liv. Give me 5 minutes." I say.

She retreats and grabs a seat and sits down directly across from me. She crosses her legs. I find myself staring and I turn around quickly to look up at the person intruding on my moment.

It was Alex. I am super pissed. I told her never to bother me after nine. Olivia quickly places both feet on the ground and pretends that we were going over a testimony.

"I'm sorry Casey. Hi, Liv." She smiles at Liv. She is obviously blushing and I know she is going to try to flirt with Olivia. "I just came to tell you that you are off tomorrow."

"That's great!" I smile and I genuinely mean it. The smile I mean. I am excited and now I can spend the whole afternoon with Olivia. I saw Olivia covering up her smile, too. She is so adorable. If Alex would just leave, I would have commented on it.

"Well, I'm off. Olivia, you look sexy by the way." She shut the door. She really knows how to get me angry.

"Olivia…you look sexy by the way." I mock her.

Olivia is laughing hysterically. "I really need a drink." She finally gets comfortable and leans back on the chair once more.

"I'm done." I get up and grab my coat off of my chair. "Where are we headed?"

Olivia smiled, "Anywhere but here," I agree and nod my head.

I let her leave first so we can maintain our cover. I leave ten minutes later.

She was leaning on the car. "Took you long enough."

I couldn't take it anymore she was making me feel all tingly inside. I pressed my lips against hers, very softly, planting kisses on her lips. I look around and open the door to the passenger's side and get in.

I know she hates when I leave her hanging.

She gets in the driver's seat. She wants to tell me something. In turn she smiles and starts the car. She then turns off the car and turns towards me. She must have a lot in her mind.

"Are you jealous?" She looks at me in the eye. I hate when she does that. That means I _have to_ listen and tell her the truth.

Instead of answering the question, I ask another question in place of it. "Jealous of what?" I ask.

"Casey… Of Alex's comments. I see how stiff you become. You act like she is going to steal me away… Is it because you are jealous or you don't trust me?" She really wants the truth from me.

I trust her, I think. I'm not jealous of Alex… I'm just in love and I don't want any other person looking at my girlfriend except me. I don't think that's bad, is it?

I noticed that I am taking too long to answer the question, "No."

She looks at me like I am possessed. "No, what?"

I stay quiet because I really don't know why I said no.

She shakes her head and starts the car. I know she is mad at me. I hate when she's mad at me. We are about to back up when I say, "I'm sorry."

Classic Olivia. She is ignoring me. She knows how much I hate that, yet she still does it.

I shut up, which is rarely as a matter of fact, and let her drive. It was a silent drive. We arrive to her apartment. We decided not to live together, although we have been going out for about 5 years.

"I don't feel so hungry anymore, but if you are, dinner is in the oven." She finally spoke after she parked.

What did I do so bad that it got her this irritated? She parks in the garage and unbuckles her seatbelt. I do the same and exit the car. I'm following behind her.

I see her raise her hand to rub her forehead, I'm guessing out of fustration.

We enter the building and walk straight for the elevators. The elevators door's open and we are the only ones who enter.

I decide to make my move and kiss her. She put her hand out. "Casey, please. Not right now."

In my embarrassment I nod and move away. Ok, that didn't work. Maybe, I should give her some space.

The elevator arrives at our floor and we get off. Suddenly, I don't feel so hungry anymore either. We walk down the hall to her apartment. She enters and heads for her room.

Don't I feel like shit? All she wanted was an answer.

I decide to watch TV while she sleeps.

**1 Hour Later**

I enter Olivia's bedroom and start to undress and leave my bra and panties on. As I walk past, I decide to pick up her clothes and place them in the hamper. I pick up her purse she was carrying earlier this evening.

It was open and everything fell out. As I bend down to pick up everything, I see a ring box attached to a note. I am super excited and angry at myself. She was going to propose to me. As a tear made its way down my cheeks, I read her note.

'I love you, Casey, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. These past years I grew to love you and know you in ways you didn't know yourself. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It was hard to accept my feelings for you, at first, but when I accepted it you made me feel new. I know it sounds like those cliché type love stories, but that's what happened and we are a love story. I just want to know you will be mine's forever. Will you marry me?'

I was crying. Tears of joy and anger. More angry at myself for letting her down this evening. We planned this evening since last week. It was weird at first because we usually have spur of the moment type dates, but I could tell she wanted this night to be special. There were flower pedals leading to her huge guest room. I smiled at what could have been.

I placed everything inside her bag. I'm going to try to pretend I didn't see it.

I head to bed next to her and shut off the bed lamp and I fell asleep.

**AN: I have to say, I might have something going here. I would love some reviews, as always, to continue. Let's go with an odd number…hmmm, how about 7 reviews to continue, sounds fair? I love you guys and thank you for reading. R&R.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: This story is not getting the attention I'd like, but I love writing for whoever is reading. Thank you **_**blood colored ink**___**for the review and favorite-ing the story (: I present my readers with chapter two.**

**Chapter 2**

I finally wake up and Olivia is not on the bed. I sit myself up for several minutes and then head out to go find her. I looked in the bathroom, she wasn't there. I found it weird because her purse wasn't where I had placed it. It was on the floor of where she was sleeping.

I walked to the kitchen and she wasn't there. I didn't see the petals of flowers leading to the guest room. I decide to just call her name, "Olivia?" No answer.

I find this weird because she never leaves somewhere without telling me. I pick up my phone and call her. It is ringing.

"Benson." I can hear wind and what sounds like Elliot in the background.

I breath in, all my worst fears have surpassed. "I was worried. You didn't wake me to tell me you were leaving." I smiled, even though I knew she couldn't see it.

"Sorry." I know she didn't mean it. She sounded so hostile like. Why was she so upset?

"Liv, we need to talk. We are still meeting in the afternoon, right?" I ask, hoping she will say yes.

"No. We are working a case." She's speaking in short sentences. I know she is trying to avoid something.

"Can you try?" I pleaded. I hate begging. It's the worse type of way to crush your pride.

"I guess." She shut the phone off. She shut the fucking phone off. What the hell was that? I'm going back to my house and rethink our relationship.

**2 Hours Later**

I arrived at my home and I want to talk to someone. Obviously not Olivia, so I dial Alex's number.

"ADA Alexandra Cabot, How may I help you?" One thing I hadn't noticed before was her voice. It's delicate yet demanding, and I like that.

"Hey, Alex, I am just wondering if you can come over. I really need to talk to someone…and well, I…" I am lost for words. This is really embarrassing. I am berating myself for ever placing my hands on my cell phone.

"I'm actually off right now. I can pass by right now. One question." Alex is building up to something.

"What's the question? And if it's something like…"

She scourges to fix her phrase, "I meant where is your house, I never been there." I got kind of embarrassed. I was exhilarated that she was not here or else she would have seen my complexion grow bright red as I tell her the address.

An hour later she comes in with open arms. Yep, this has to be the first time touching her. She is really soft and… I really think this is inappropriate and I let go.

As I showed her to my couch, I grabbed two bottles of water.

I came back and she had this, 'Get to the point,' look.

"I am sorry. I want to talk about my love life." I see her complexion suddenly change.

"I am a lesbian. I don't think I can be much help to you." She turns towards me and I see her staring at my breasts.

I smile, "I think you can help me more than you can." She is now embarrassed. She knows I saw her staring.

"Sorry," she starts to turn red, "Ok, then. I'm all ears."

I look at her and I breathe in, "I'm not going to place names so bare with me. Ok." I exhale. "I am going out with this guy for about 5 years and he was taking me home yesterday."

She looks at me understandingly and nods for me to go on. "He asks me 'am I jealous' I ask of what? And he replies 'of a woman at his job' I don't have an answer to that and he suddenly changes his posture. The big dinner we had planned was just him going to sleep."

I can't read Alex at moment and I'm a little scared she just caught on to who the '_he'_ of my story is.

"Why didn't you answer him? Why do you think he got mad or distant all of a sudden?" Alex brought her lawyer tone on me. I think it's so sexy…I don't think what I'm thinking is appropriate.

I find her question hard to answer so I shrug. "I found a wedding ring in his…" What do guys..."Pocket of his pants..." I hope she didn't notice my hesitation.

"Awww. He was going to propose?" Alex acted so surprised, like she believed that I wasn't straight.

I nod before I give anything else away.

She reaches out her hand and touches my knee. I shudder and the feeling of her warmth on my skin. I try not to make a scene out of it. I think she was hoping for that reaction. I look at her bright blue eyes and see a smile on her face, like she succeeded in something.

"So let me get this straight. Is this '_guy_' named Olivia Benson…" She saw the shock in my eyes. I feel the redness flow throughout my countenance and suddenly feel this over powering embarrassment. I can feel butterflies all around my stomach and I feel really squeamish.

"Whoa…Are you ok? You don't look so good" Alex takes her hand off my knee and starts to rub my back. She starts to chuckle.

I feel more humiliated. "How did you know?"

She snickered, "it doesn't take a genius to put that together. I knew you were a lesbian, and well I never seen, not one guy, come into your office. If a relationship carried on for 5 years, I would think he cared about you that much to come at least once. Not to mention Olivia come to your office way more than she needed to. Oh," She chuckled at this one, "and Olivia is dressed for a date and comes to _you_ for a testimony." She shakes her head and removes her hand from my back.

I giggle at her discovery, "I am sorry to ask this, but if you _knew_ Olivia was my girl, why are you always hitting on her?"

She goes hysteric on this one. When catches her breath, she replies, "I loved your reaction to it. It was cute. I mean really cute. You would scrunch your face and Olivia would just be telling you to calm down. Yesterday had to be the cutest face you made."

I smile and lean on the couch. I close my eyes. "So, I'm cute when I'm mad?"

"Yes. Want to know something even better, Novak?" I can feel her come closer.

My eyes are still closed. "What?"

"I have a crush on you." She whispers in my ears.

I shudder at the proximity. I open my eyes and turn to her. "Really? Why didn't you tell me?" I ask curiously, already knowing the answer.

She comes close to my ear. "I think you know." She is so close that I feel her smile against my skin.

My body is in rage. I'm not supposed to be feeling this. I called her to help me not…this.

Before, I know it, she straddles herself on my lap.

"I have…" I'm trying to say _I have a girlfriend_, but the words don't seem to escape me.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what the hell has gotten over me," Now it was Alex's turn to flush red. She quickly mounted herself off of my lap and sat on the couch.

"It's ok. I know what…I know how that feels."

She is still embarrassed and she doesn't speak.

I thought I should lighten up the mood. "If it is worth anything, I felt the same thing, too."

She looks up and smiles.

"However, I don't think we should do this to Olivia." I feel the words get dragged out of my tongue. As much as I want this, I love Olivia Benson, even though she is acting like a huge dick.

"Agreed." Alex replies.

"Want anything? I am a little starving." I get off the couch.

She nods.

I open the refrigerator and take out lunch meat and when I shut the door and see Alex leaning on the kitchen counter.

"Hey, are you spying on me." I ask teasingly.

She shakes her head, "Not spying, It is more like, I don't think…you don't know what type of sandwich I want." She smiles and walks over to where I am and tries to help.

"I… Ok, you can do whatever you want." I let her grab a plate and her choice of bread.

At one point we both grabbed the jar of pickles and we both let it go. "Alex!" I scream.

She quickly backs off and the jar slams onto the floor. Happily, the jar didn't break. The pickles and the juice along with it, fell out of the jar.

Alex starts to giggle and I join. "This is_ so_ your fault." I look at her icy blue sapphire eyes.

She grabbed paper towels from the top shelf and hands one to me and we both bend down to wipe the floor.

I got up to throw pickles away and slipped. She couldn't hold her laugh in.

I looked at her as if she has just betrayed me. She came over to me and I held out my hand to grab hers to pull me up.

She should have known this was a trick because I pulled her down.

I was laughing now and she fell on top of me.

Things got serious. We looked each other in the eye and she kissed me.

Ok, she's not the only one who broke the rules here because I kissed back.

**AN: Come on guys, I bet this is fun to read, hit me up with your feedback. Please review I like this story and I want to keep going. Its helps get me motivated. **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey, Now we are talking. Thank for the reviews from chapter 2: ****Tracer, Cavak, Sydney, ****Steple****, and ****Bkwrmchar**** . I worked on this and I think that it is worthy to be presented. Hope you like it. Please give reviews (I feed on them and it helps me see if the effect I want is working on you. (:**

**Chapter 3**

She pressed her lips onto mine to deepen the kiss. Against my will, my lips parted to give her full entry to explore my mouth.

I tasted the coffee in her mouth. She then stopped the kiss to start kissing me on my neck. I hadn't noticed that I was moaning to the sensation on my neck.

This is wrong. This is so wrong. Why can't I stop? I swiftly land my palms on her bare back. Her shirt was lifting as she was grinding on me. She starts to pull off my shirt and I aid her to it. Why am I helping her? This is a bad situation.

She starts to rub her palms over my beige bra. She starts to kiss me on my lips again. I moan to the touch.

The phone rings. I know it's mine and she stops kissing me and I look into her deep blue eyes. "I have to get it." I'm actually having feelings of relief and sudden anger at the stupid phone.

She stops me from getting up. "Leave it," She states with eagerness in her eyes.

"I have to…I mean…I have to." I hate my ambivalent nature.

She nods and moves off of so I can get my phone by the lamp stand on my couch.

"Novak." I start to breath evenly.

"Hey, I have been texting you. I guess you probably lost your phone. I just wanted to tell you Olivia told me about you two today. Congrats, I think…Anyways she wanted me to tell you she is not coming home so don't wait up. By the way…" His voice trails off, "Huh…I'm talking to the ME… Yea so when will you get the results?"

"What?" I ask.

"OK, I'll call you later." He shut the phone off.

I realized that maybe Olivia was there and whatever he had to tell me was relevant to our relationship.

As I stare at the phone, I realized I left Alex on the ground. I walk towards the kitchen and she was finishing cleaning up the pickles on the ground.

I try to find words to say, however they don't form.

"I think Olivia must hate what you did yesterday so much that she canceled on you." Alex smiled.

My face expression must of wiped the smile off her face because the next thing she asked was, "What was that call about?"

I look at my phone. "Olivia. She sent Elliot to tell me that she will not be coming home today. Another thing she doesn't do. She told Elliot about us." I shook my head in awe.

I see Alex lean on the wall again. "Who was the girl that _you were_ jealous of…"

I think she realized it was her.

"I don't get it…I mean I do get it. She hate's when I'm jealous and she _especially _hate's when I don't trust her or give her the feeling that I don't. I understand why she is mad, but…this…the way she is acting is totally different. If we have a problem, she would be the first to fix it…even if I don't want to."

Alex grabbed my waist one hand on both sides.

"Alex…"

I shut up to a kiss to my lips. She places her forehead on mine.

I start to breath evenly again. "Alex, this..." I signal with my hands, "This can't become nothing. I don't want..."

"Casey, just let go. Olivia will never get hurt because she will never know, right?" Alex smiled and kissed my neck.

I stare into space, "Right."

"Look, it's getting late. I have to go, but, call me." She gives me another peck on the cheek and I walk her out the door.

"Thanks, for cleaning the pickles." She smiles and walks away.

I really don't know what just happened. Did I just declare that I am having an affair with Alex Cabot?

It's now four in the afternoon and I fall asleep on the couch when Elliot call's me.

"Hey." I say weakly and prop myself up.

"Hey, I told you I was going to call you later. Can I meet you at your apartment?"

I nod my head and remember he wasn't in my house. "Y..yea"

"I'm here already." I could hear him chuckle.

"So…you automatically thought I would let you in?" I am now a little aware of my surroundings.

"Just open your door."

I hear a soft knock on my door.

I smile. "Oh, Eliiot." I open the door and he is smiling.

"Hey, again." I signal him to come in.

As I shut the door and lock it, he states, "Liv, cannot know I am here."

He went straight to the point. I nodded and signaled him to the couch.

"I just want to say…how do I put this…She is extremely mad at you…No…She was going to…you are going to hate me for this…she was going to propose to you." He finally blurted out. He looked like he was expecting a greater reaction from me.

I breathe in and smile. "I know. I saw the box and the note…I didn't see the ring. I was hoping to see it tonight as a surprise." I shake my head and fear comes upon me. I really don't know why.

"She is thinking about your relationship. She wants to spend the rest of her life with you except…Except you…I mean _she _doesn't believe you trust her and to her, trust means everything." I could feel that Elliot wanted to maintain eye contact with me, but I couldn't I felt ashamed. Ashamed, because he had to come here and tell me about my relationship with Olivia. He was only just told today.

I nod without maintaining contact.

"I understand Case. I do… Kathy is like Olivia. It's not that I don't trust her… it's the people around her I don't trust. She, being a nurse and all…she can get diseases…" He paused for a moment. I think he is trying to choose his words.

"Just go to her. Now, I mean. She needs you, even if she tries to deny it. I can see it in her eyes she loves you. Even when she was mad and finally told me what I have been really blind about these five years, she lit up when she spoke about you." I think he noticed I didn't want to shed tears in front of him. He lifted up my chin. "Go. You won't regret it." He smiled showing all of his pearly whites.

"Ok." I say softly.

"I'll take you there." He grabbed his keys and pulled me up.

**The Precinct**

Elliot gave me a shove. "Go." He stated strictly.

I nod and entered the crib and shut the door behind me.

Olivia is in the middle bed. Dozed off. I sit on the edge of the bed and inhale. I shake her into reality.

She mumbles, "Uhmm. Humm. One more min Cap." She turns around and sleeps on her right side.

"Liv…" I whisper. "Liv, wakeup…" I shake her.

She comes to and I smile at her.

She looks like she is wishing she hadn't woken up.

"I am sorry, Liv. I really am." The problem is I don't think I am saying sorry for the mistake _last_ night.

"It was a stupid mistake and I just want to talk to you. I want to hear your voice."

She sits up. She opens her mouth but nothing comes out.

"I love you, Liv. Please speak to me. Talk to me. Tell what you are felling." I sit next to her.

**AN: Hey, Hey. Do you like? I like. I did not notice that most of-if not all-of the stories have Alex or Olivia in the triangle. (Like most of my readers mentioned in the reviews.) I like that I am taking on a new approach. Hope it goes well and I have readers at the end of this…lol…Please review. I like what's on your minds.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hey, Now we are talking. Thank for the reviews from chapter 3:****Tracers, Cavak, ****Karenina bubo****, and ****Steple. This is the 4****th**** chapter. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I have to say this chapter will give you a perception of Casey's conflict. Read and enjoy. I am asking for 4 reviews to continue. I like the feedback I am getting and It helps me mold this story into what it can become so please review. I love your reviews at the moment they are great and I know I am getting my points across.**

**Chapter 4**

Olivia just stares at me, like she is desperately trying to find her way out of this.

"Please." I look into her striking brown eyes.

"I really don't want to talk, Case." She looks down and shakes her head.

I lead her to lie on the bed and I lay with her. My arms over her tight stomach, and I smell her hair, which smells like the green apple shampoo she uses.

I kiss the top of her head. "I love you, Olivia. I know you don't want to talk, but the longer we prolong what difference we have between us we can't move forward. Please, just talk to me."

She moves a little. I guess to get comfortable.

"I don't know what is going on… I love you Case, I really do. It's just that yesterday…" I feel her inhale. "Yesterday…you know how I hate when people don't trust…" She turns towards me and now we are face-to-face. She exhales and I could smell the donuts and coffee in her breath. "I just want to know if you trust me, because I trust you." I can see glistening drops in her chocolate eyes. I lift my hand and wipe them away.

I feel so guilty. She _trusts _me and I am cheating on her with Alex. I feel so inclined to tell her what happened. I feel something telling me not to. "I trust you." I close my eyes. I feel her moving closer to kiss me on the lips.

She quickly gets up and I open my eyes. "Come. Get up. Case, get off that bed." She is tugging at my clothes.

"Ok, ok." I stand up and she hugs me and stares at me with a smirk on her face.

I know what she is doing. I feel a tear come out of my eye as she gets down on one knee. The tear is not of happiness, but of guilt. I can't believe she asked me. Now of all times. I try to look surprised and happy through my culpable tears. She grabs my hand.

"I had a whole note written out…but uh…I can't seem to find it." She is crying too, and smiles up at me. "I didn't want to cry…um…" She wipes tears off of her face. "Casey Novak, I thought that I would have waited another year to really figure you out. I didn't want to see you tonight…but…you, you wanted to see me." She smiled still looking up at me.

I feel my shame eating me up, I must pull on with this act. She _can't_ know.

"I… can be an ass…" She shakes her head and still has her chocolate brown eyes focused at me. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I see her breath in. "Casey Novak, will you marry me?" She is smiling and all I can fucking think of is Alex. What is going on?

I feel a fresh stream of tears trail down my face. Without thinking my body responded to the question with a nod.

She gets up. "Is that a yes, ?" Olivia kisses me on the lips.

I feel like I want to puke, but I hold it in.

**Next Day**

I'm in my office and I can't concentrate on anything. My thoughts are going erratic. If I think about Alex, I think about hurting Olivia. I think about Olivia, Alex soon makes her way back into my mind, and it's happening over and over again like a strange cycle.

I can't concentrate…I think I said that already…

There is a knock on my door. "Come in."

I smile, it is Alex. She comes in and locks the door. "Hey, Case. What's up?"

I signal for her to take a seat. "I am engaged…"

She smiles, "I know, congrats." Then her face expression changed. "So, what does this mean about us?"

I shake my head, "I don't know, Alex. I felt so guilty, so, so guilty. I betrayed her, even if we cut this off, I don't think I will be able to stop thinking about you."

She gets off the chair and comes behind me and massages my neck. I can feel her breath close to my ear. She whispers, "Calm down. Relax. I couldn't get you out of my mind either."

I turn my chair around and grab her. Now, she is sitting on my lap.

She leans in for a kiss. She freezes. "Casey? Why is your door locked?" Olivia is outside.

HOLY SHIT! "Hey…babe…uhm…I am a little busy and I didn't want to be bothered so I locked it…hold on…" I am signaling Alex to get under my desk. She smiles and rolls her eyes. I reach her lips and kiss her, "Thank you." I whisper.

I run to the door and unlock it. "Hi, babe." I lean in and kiss Olivia.

She has a crooked smile on, "What took you so long?"

I grab the bag of food from her hands, "I tripped."

She starts laughing. "I am so sorry…are you ok?"

I smile, "Yea…" I walk to my desk.

"I actually came to look for Alex. Elliot needed her for a warrant…have you seen her?" she gives me a cynical look. I shake my head and go on taking the food out of the bag.

"Thank you."I say as she leans over the desk and kisses me goodbye.

"See you at home." She leaves and shuts the door.

"It was so hard not to laugh." Alex climbs out of the desk.

I playfully hit her. "You should call Elliot."

"I'm going, I'm going." She leans in to give me a quick peck on the lips.

I exhale. I just dodged a huge bullet.

**AN: OMG! Did Case just shove Alex under the desk? That is funny. On a serious note, what do you think will happen if Olivia finds out? And do you think Casey loves Olivia as she says she does? Hit me up with your thoughts I would like to know them. Remember 4 reviews. (:**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey, I present you with this chapter. This is kind of like fluff. Trust me it will lead to a great chapter 6. I am asking for 5 reviews. Look forward to that getting posted on Friday March 9****th ****. I will have to warn you though Rated M. If I get the 7 reviews today I will post the next chapter tomorrow. So get your mouse a'click'in. Tell me what you feel about this. Oh and thank you for reviewing and ****Cavak, Tracer, Butterscotch, ****steple**** ,****MHfanSmoezz**** ,****tummer22**** , ****Mackster.**

**Chapter 5**

It has been three hours since I socialized with anyone. I have cases upon cases and it really sucks. I'm getting more cases as my probation end date approaches.

I am about to finish my last stack of paper when I hear knock on my door, "It's Alex," I hear Alex whisper.

She enters with her bag, meaning she is about to leave. I look up at her and smile as she locks the door. "Hey, I thought of the bestest idea ever!" her smile lit up the room.

"Bestest?" I shake my head at her adorableness.

She nods, "Yes. Tell Olivia you will be stuck at work for a couple of hours and me and you could hang out." Alex smiled like she came up with the idea to solve world peace.

I shake my head disapprovingly, "No. Olivia needs me now." I speak to her more than lovingly.

"She had you for 5 years and I can't have this one day?" She now is taunting me with her pouty face.

"I…stop doing that." I throw a pen at her.

She walks towards me, "Now, was that nice?" She breathes on my ear.

I meet her lips for a kiss. "Now, that was nice."

She smiled in appreciation, "It was."

I have to give in; it's Alex for crying out loud. I stand up and hold her by the waist slowly moving her back towards the wall.

"I'm going to pleasure you with more niceness." I say as get so close to her that I can feel her breathing on my lips.

"Show me." Alex had passion in her eyes.

I kiss her lips and planted kisses slowly. I don't know how and when, but the kiss escalated. Her lips parted and gave me entry to explore. She was just sweet. We each battled for dominance. She should have known that I would have won anyways. I slowly trail kisses down her neck. A mutter came out of her lips. Then she said it again, "Oh…Casey"

I smiled through the kisses. I unbuttoned her shirt and kissed her chest. She moaned once again and I met her with a kiss on her lips once again. I now let her explore my mouth. Her hands get around my lower back. She pushes forward to deepen the kiss.

I am just about to get her shirt off without breaking the kiss when I hear my phone go off.

I stop the kiss and turn my head.

"Leave it," Alex tells me trying to catch her breath as I am.

"But…It might be…Olivia." I say between gulping air.

I kiss her on the cheek. I walk away towards my desk to grab my phone. "Novak…"

"Casey? Why are you breathing so hard? Are you ok?" Olivia stated with a sense of alertness.

"No…no…I ugh…held my breath…to see how long I can go without air." I laughed at my sorry excuse.

"You are weird. Look I'm coming in a couple of minutes, so finish up."

I look at Alex and I don't want to disappoint her. She nods at me and starts to button her shirt. I feel bad, and I understand she wants me to be happy and not obligated to be with her.

"Yea, ok, see you." My breathing evened. I close the phone and I sit on the desk and grab Alex and pull her towards me. I hold her by her waist. "Thank you." I finally say.

She lightly kisses me on my lips, "She is your priority. I am actually starting to feel stupid for doing this. You are engaged for Christ sakes. I just can't keep my hands off of you." Her eyes are glistening, is she really crying?

"Alex, I…you are not stupid. I wouldn't blame you for what we have, because it takes two to tango." I try to lighten the mood.

I see her lips curve into a smile. "I just…I don't want to get you hurt."

"I put myself in this situation. Ok. Don't worry. Now, go. Olivia will be here any minute." I slap her ass as she starts for the door.

"Fix yourself; you don't want Olivia to think you are cheating." She winks at me and disappears into the dark.

I fix my shirt and brush my hair. A couple minutes later Olivia enters the office. "Oh, unlocked." She smiles as she enters.

"Hey, babe." I grab my bag and several cases I have to go over.

"I need to get something signed from Alex before we head out." She smiles with a paper in her hand and I grab her hand and we head out of my office.

As we get to the door of Alex's office, I hear Alex. It sounds like she is crying and Olivia hears it too because she looks at me with sadness in her eyes. She knocks on the door and suddenly I hear Alex shuffle papers.

"Come in" her voice cracked. I wonder why she is crying. I enter with Olivia holding my hand and I abruptly extricate my fingers from hers. I feel that I at least owe that to Alex, and because technically Alex doesn't know about our relationship.

Olivia whispers to me before we get in, "She is obviously crying so don't give her a hard time. I know you don't like her, but please be nice."

I nod with loss for words.

Olivia opens the door, "Hey, Alex."

I make my way in to see Alex, too. She was obviously crying and I couldn't do anything to comfort her.

"Hey, what brings you two here?" Alex tries to sound grounded through her tears. I really want to know what she was crying about.

Olivia smiles, "I just needed to make sure you signed on the statement from the case today."

Alex nods, "Yea, sure."

Olivia hands her the paper and Alex signed it. Olivia grabbed the paper.

"Thank you. Look Casey and I are going to her apartment and hang out and you can join us maybe to a girl's movie night?" Olivia asks not even discussing this with me first.

I know this can turn out to be a bad idea. A few slips and we are history. I give Alex a glare. Maybe that will send a signal for her to say no.

"No, I think I shouldn't intrude on your… party." Alex says that so delicately, my heart just melted. I exhale. No worries. Right?

"Come on! It would be fun. Is it because of Casey? You know she is always a grump at work. Let it be like the old times at the bar. Come on, Alex!" Olivia spoke with the voice that would make anybody do anything for her, and that is something I like. However, at this moment I just want her to let it go, Alex already said no Liv, drop the subject.

"Ah, Ok." Alex smiles. I know it's not genuine, because she knows I didn't want her to say yes.

"Ok, great. We are going to Casey's house. I don't think you have ever been there so…"

"I know where it is." Alex stated as a matter-of-fact.

I froze.

Olivia turned towards me. "You know where Casey lives? That's weird." Olivia looked like she was contemplating a scenario of the time Alex came to my house. I know that she will look into this. Her chocolate eyes glaring at mine. I casually shrugged. I wonder why she turned towards me while she was referring to Alex.

Oh, don't forget Alex's slip up, _I know where it is._ What was that? Does she want to kill me?

**AN: What do you think? I have to say, I am enjoying writing this story. So what do you say? 5 reviews= Sunday, 7 reviews= tomorrow, … Hope you continue reading and enjoy this craziness of a story. P.S. I **_**DO NOT **_**condone any cheating whatsoever, but this story needs drama (which I like) (: Happy reading…. I like your reviews and I would like to keep them coming. **


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: The story was supposed to be posted earlier, but was deterred. I know you liked the 5****th**** chapter. I present you with Chapter 6. I liked it and I hope you do to. Thanks for reviewing: ****Cavak, Tracer, Butterscotch,****steple****,****Mackster, ****Katarina, and Nobot4life. I will ask for 5 reviews to continue. Tell me what you think I would like to know. Chapter 6 as promised.**

**Chapter 6**

**My Apartment**

I let Olivia choose the movie because it was her choice to bring Alex. I think I am playing this _hate Alex_ thing pretty well. Olivia is in the living room and she sent Alex and I to the kitchen to get ice cream. I didn't argue with her, however she does need to know Alex and I in the same room means trouble.

I grabbed the bowls and Alex grabbed the ice cream and she whispers. I actually realize this is the first time she talks to me the whole night. "I know you are mad, but it's Liv. If I said no, she would have tried harder." She looks around the corner, I guess to see where Liv is. She presses her lips on mine and she made small circles with her thumbs on my waist. I moan to the touch.

I notice what's happening and I stop it. "Alex." I whisper, "Do you really want to get caught kissing me?"

"You can say I came on to you." Alex must of noticed my face expression, "Sorry, I thought it could be kind of like a risk."

"That kiss was good, but later, please." I whisper and I look out the corner and Olivia is looking at the DVD's. I peck Alex on the lips. "Now, let's get these ice creams in a bowl before she notices we haven't been back." Then I remember. Why am I such an idiot? She was crying earlier.

"Alex, can I ask you as question?" I ask placing huge scoops of ice cream in the bowl.

She nods, "Anything?" She is so cute. I want her here and now, but I am pretty sure that is not a good idea.

"Why were you crying?" I ask. I noticed her stance changed and she is about to speak, but Olivia intrudes and catches us in this awkward position. Alex is obviously too close to my chest.

"Hey, I don't know if you are sizing each other, but let's keep the fighting to a minimum." Olivia grabs her ice cream bowl as I carry mine and Alex finishes placing hers in her bowl.

I follow and sit next to Olivia. Alex places her bowl on the coffee table. "Where's your bathroom, Casey?"

"Down that hall" I point to my right. "The 3rd door to your left." She strutted herself away.

"I couldn't wait till she went to the bathroom. From my experience we have 5 to 10 minutes tops." Olivia leans to kiss me.

"Olivia, not right now. Maybe, later." I see her move back hesitantly.

She shrugs, "Ok."

We waited 5 minutes in silence.

Alex struts back nonchalantly. "Are we going to watch this movie?" She states as she breaks the silence.

Olivia nods and shuts off the lamp and clicks play on the remote.

Thirty minutes into the movie I drift into sleep.

"_I can't take it anymore! Olivia, I am with Casey. We love each other and she wants you out of her way." Alex states with passion in her eyes._

_I say, "Why Alex? Why did you say that?" but I am ignored as if I'm not there._

"_No!" Olivia lifts her gun and points it at Alex._

_Suddenly I am visible._

"_Casey, you choose, either Alex dies or I die." Olivia states with eagerness to pull the trigger._

"_No, don't make me choose." I state in fear. My voice echoes._

"_Casey…Casey…Casey…"_

"Casey, wake up the movie is over." Olivia's voice is soothing. I feel her rub my back as I come to.

I adjust my eyes. "Where's Alex." I ask as I notice Alex is not sitting next to me.

Olivia looks kind of surprised that I even asked, "Oh, uhm…she is sleeping over…"

I nod.

I think Olivia wanted another reaction from me because it seems to me that she is awestruck at the fact that I didn't fight with her or kick Alex out of my house.

"Well, I am headed out and I promise tomorrow will be a better night." Olivia smiled and kissed me and walked towards the door. "Good night. Don't kill Alex, ok. Get yourself to a bed or else you will be sore on that sofa of yours."

I nod and give her a weak smile. She smiles back and shuts the door. I lazily get up to lock it.

As I am heading to my room, I see Alex on my bed. I shake my head and walk to my bathroom to change.

I enter my bed and sleep on the left side, which is my favorite side of the bed.

I am thinking about waking her up, but I don't, maybe it is because fear or the guilt that is eating me up inside.

Alex shifts towards me, "I was waiting for you to get in bed."

I smile and a little startled, "Why?"

"I never seen you sleep, and you said we can finish that kiss later. Later is kind of now." Alex smiles at me.

I feel like I am a kid again. She gives me that youthful feeling.

I remember my question early and I want to ask it, "I know, but can we hold off on that until a little bit. I want to know why you were crying?" I ask in my lawyer tone.

She rolls her eyes, "I don't want to talk about it. It was stupid." She shakes her head and gets closer and lay's on my chest.

"It's not stupid. Tell me." I poke at the problem once again.

"Ok, I was…I think we should cut this off. I see how Olivia looks at you and I can't give you those five years back…I don't know why you are always on my mind. I find that I can't think straight and my mind wonders… a lot." She chuckles. She slightly lifts up my blouse and makes circle movements with her finger on my stomach. I don't know how she does it. It is sensational.

"I want you, but can't have you." Alex finally tells me her dilemma.

"I want you, but can't have _you, _too. It's just that Olivia is my fiancée and I don't think she knows what she did when she left you on my bed." I reply and she smiles.

Alex moves up towards my neck. She _has_ to know that my neck makes me go crazy. She breathes on it and kisses it slowly while softly performing circular movements on my belly.

"Umm…Alex." I groan as the sensations are killing me.

I am trying to control myself as she makes her way to the mother lode, behind my ears.

I try to calm down as a whimper escapes my lips, then, a moan. My heart is racing. What is she doing that is making me do this?

Alex smiles against my skin and makes her way to my lips. Against my will they part and let her dominate. She swiftly shifted her tongue in my mouth. I moan once again as her circular movements move near my pants, slowly she leads her index finger inside my pants straight to the bundle of nerves.

"Oh My Gosh, Casey, you are really wet." She tells me through our kiss.

My body is trembling. What is she doing to me? She is rubbing my clit faster and my back is arching and my body is trembling under her grasp of me. A scream escapes my lips. "Ugh!" I yell. My orgasm is heightened at its fullest and I need to release.

Alex notices this and rubs faster and faster as I climax. "Alex!" I manage to say as my back lets down slowly on the bed. I feel my body tremble as an aftershock. I breathe in and left immobile as Alex retrieves her hand from my pants.

She starts back at my neck and sensations are running through me like a marathon.

She then stops to look at me in the eyes. "You liked that?" She smiles.

"How did you learn that?" I state, still immobile from that orgasm.

"You." She smiles and kisses me on the cheek.

**AN: Thank you for reading. Tell me what you think. I would love to know. Did you like the ending of this chapter? I actually like what's going on. Look forward to chapter 7. Remember that blue review button is calling your name… "Press me" lol, but 5 reviews to continue. Thanks guys.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I finished this chapter yesterday and I was going to post this tomorrow, but I feel that you need a little dose of this story. You guys are on point with the reviewing. Hope you enjoy reading and please review. Thank you for reading. Thanks for reviewing: Butterscotch, MHfanSmoezz, Nobot4life, steple, Mackster, Bianca, Tracer, and Cavak. Read and tell me what you think. I WILL make a better sexual scene between Casey and Alex. I have to make the atmosphere and it will have to click with the story. [ Just for you :) coming soon ;D ]**

I feel so relaxed. She starts to breathe on my neck. She plants kisses ever so delicately.

"Alex…" I mutter out of my lips. After that orgasm I don't think I can get another crazy feeling. "We are heading to work tomorrow…" I manage to say as she lightly kisses me on my lips.

She climbs on top of my and pins down my arms. She places all her hair to her right side and tilts her head a bit and leans towards my ear.

She smells like Japanese Cherry Blossom.

"Casey…" I shudder at the proximity and the apparent lust in her voice. She moves back and stares at me. "You are so beautiful…I just want you to be mines… so bad. I feel so restricted. I don't want to put you in a crazy position." Alex tells me.

"Alex, we only have been in this for a few days…" I sit up and she is still on my lap. I place my hands on her waist to move her forward and leave them there. "What we have is so complicated. I never, had a connection like this, not with Olivia…" I smile as I remember what she just did to me. "That…what you just did for me was amazing. I don't know…but there is something about you that attracts me so. I don't…want to feel this…it's so wrong…but so right…" Tears escape my eyes. "I love Olivia. I really do, but I don't know what to do. I feel this…between us…I don't want to hurt Olivia but I don't want to leave you. I know at some point I will have to choose…"

I was interrupted by Alex, "…Casey…you _don't _have to choose…" She is crying too.

"I will Alex. You know it as much as I do…someone is going to get hurt…and if it happens, I want it to be me…"

She leans in to kiss me, which ends in a hug. "So what do we do now?" Alex asks sniffling.

I shrug, "I am falling in love with you…I already tripped and fell twice…I just don't know when I fall again, who's hand will I grab, Olivia's or yours."

She looks at the time, "It's twelve sixteen in the morning. Let's sleep." She climbs off of me and heads to her side.

I lean to turn off the lamp.

**Next Day**

I wake up to a buzzing sound on the lamp stand. I look at Alex and she is sleeping soundly. I grabbed my phone and walked out of the room.

I stare at my phone's time, six thirty. Usually the time I wake up when Olivia is around.

"Hello," I state effortlessly.

"Hey Babe, glad to hear you're alive. What about Alex?" I hear her chuckle.

I walk to my couch. "She's alive…" I respond with annoyance. I don't hate Alex damn it…

"Grumpy? Well, you said your car didn't start…and Alex didn't bring her car…I am coming to pick you up around 8?" Olivia asks.

"Yea." I shut the phone off. I didn't mean to act so grumpy…Olivia is just annoying at the moment.

I grab my towel and head into the shower.

After I am done freshening up I realize Alex hasn't woken up. I gently shake her. "Alex…" I whisper.

She is a light sleeper. Her eyes burst open. "Hey," She states softly.

I kiss her forehead. "Olivia, is picking us up at eight, it's exactly seven so take your shower and dress up." I say as I walk towards my closet.

We finished everything around eight fifteen. Olivia hasn't showed up yet. She said eight. Whatever Olivia is doing is pissing me off…Everything she does wrong annoys me and I don't know where this is coming from.

Olivia knocks on my door.

I head towards the door to go open it. I give Olivia this look. She quickly responds, "I ran into a person…lost track of time." She shook her head. "I am here now, so let's go."

I follow behind Alex. I don't know why, but I am infuriated. As we enter the car the slam the passenger door.

Olivia stares at me as if I am insane. She gets into the car, as does Alex, who probably at this moment is scared out of her mind.

Olivia drops off Alex and I. I get out of the car first and I don't turn back. She is…ugh. I enter my office and shut the door behind me.

Seconds later I hear a small knock.

I look up, "Ugh…Come in" I state with attitude.

Alex enters with this shock look on her face. She locks the door like it is policy.

Why did she come? I just want to be alone.

"Casey, did something happen between you and Olivia?" I know she is caring and all, but I am just not up for this right now.

"Alex…Look we both have to work today…I just want to focus, ok?" I get back to working.

"Casey, what is bothering you?" She sat in the seat Olivia usually sits on.

I look up with this angry face expression, "Alex, please…later."

She doesn't move. She is so stubborn.

"Look, I am pretty sure we are going to get somewhere with this whether you like it or not. I don't care how mad you are." She glares at me.

I'm not giving in. "Alex! I can't play these games right now. I am fucking pissed right now ok! Just go…please." I didn't mean to come off rude.

"Look, I am actually trying to hear you out. Don't shut me out. What the hell is bothering you this much." She doesn't give in.

I am getting angry. I am going to ignore her, so my big mouth doesn't get me in trouble.

The truth is I am pissed. Olivia let me fall in love with Alex. I mean its Olivia's fault, right? She doesn't…She isn't Alex. We butt heads on cases as diminutive as he say-she say. I hate Olivia for…I shouldn't hate her, but I do. It's my fault that Alex and I happened, but it's also hers. When Alex says she will do something, she will follow through with it. Olivia on the other hand…I don't know…I love Olivia. However, marriage seems like a far away option…even though we are engaged.

What is being engaged? A title I must have for another year until I am finally yours. Why don't we get married already? I am dreading the days as they may be approaching faster. I am not dreading marrying Olivia, but rather dreading that I will be marrying her and leaving Alex behind.

I know I will end up choosing one of them, but when? The day I am _betrothed_ to Olivia? Today? Tomorrow?

"I'm going to call Olivia. Look, I promise I will tell you later." I calmed down and I feel the need to tell Olivia I am sorry and that I love her.

Alex's face expression changed the moment I mentioned Olivia's name. "Uh…yea…ok."

I think somewhere deep inside; she hoped Olivia and I were over. As she steps out of the room I start to dial Olivia's number.

"Benson." I hear shuffling of papers. She must be at the precinct.

"Olivia, it's me, Casey." I reply.

"Oh," She sounds depressed.

"I just wanted to say I am sorry. I am sorry for everything," I tell her as tears are rushing down my cheeks, "I am sorry for everything that I have done to piss you off or hurt you in anyway. I don't know what to do anymore…each day it gets harder and harder…" My voice starts to break up.

"Whoa, sweetie, its ok. We all have bad days, look I can pick you up during lunch to eat and we can talk and whatever is on your mind can come out, ok?" Her voice is soothing.

"Yea. I just want you to know I love you so much. I love you, ok?" I start to wipe my tears.

"I love you, too. Casey, I think you need me now. I can just drop…"

"No, you come during lunch ok."

"Ok."

I feel at least some release of guilt.

**AN: **_**Killing Me Softly… Countdown by Beyonce.**_** That is pretty much a song for this story. Casey is under a lot of pressure. Who do you think she should chose? Just wondering…I like reviews and readers. This chapter = your gift from me to you :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I think your chapter 8 is up! Hey, you readers, really make me happy. A happy author = new chapter. So I will give you this chapter 8 that so many of you wanted me to update today. I decided why not. You seem like a great crowd. Thanks for reading and Reviewing: Butterscotch, Nobot4life, steple, Mackster, Tracer, and Cavak. Thanks for answering my question I still haven't decided the ending. When it comes it would be huge. I am pretty sure the ending is far from now. I present chapter 8. BAM!**

I feel like shit. Alex is probably disheartened. I don't know… I think I am just going to see how she is.

I walk to her office and I knock.

"Come in." she states from within. I turn the knob.

She glares at me. "Oh, I thought you wanted to do work?"

She is obviously pissed. I hate this. I hate my big mouth. I lock her door and sit on the chair.

"I was an ass earlier." I state.

She obviously is pissed. She looks at me then returns to her work.

"Alex…I…Alex!" I try to get her attention, however to no avail. She continues to work.

"I am sorry…ok. I am sorry. I was pissed and I shouldn't have shut you out like that. I am just an idiot who doesn't think." I hate this. She doesn't look up at all.

"I don't know…what do you want me to do Alex?" I ask.

She is continuing to ignore me. "Since you are ignoring me I just want to say that you are being unreasonable. I don't understand why saying 'sorry' can't cut it with you. I actually meant it…what do you want from me?" I ask again to a huge wall that has been put up by Alex. I _hate _being ignored.

She doesn't look up, "I am working…_Maybe_ you should work to." She tells me the same line I used on her.

"Yea, I guess. Well, I will be out with Olivia for lunch if you are going to be looking for me." I get up rudely and walk out of her office.

What the hell? I seriously did not do that to her. What is she so stubborn? Ugh!

I walk back to my office and I bump into Elliot. "Hey, Alex already told you about the case we are doing. Well then, I guess you can come instead of her."

I am seriously confused, "What case?"

"You just came from Alex's office, right? When you go to her office she usually tells you a case. Sorry, I just assumed." Elliot reddened as his obvious embarrassment runs through his face.

"It's ok." I start to walk away.

"Just wondering, what were you in her office for if you didn't go for a case?" He asks as I am down the hall.

"None of your business, Elliot." I smile at him and enter my office.

I hate getting ignored. Does she want this relationship or not?

It is noon and Olivia called me to tell me to meet her at her apartment. I decide to bring some cases with me and clock out of work.

Before I leave I decide to say goodbye to Alex.

I knock on her door.

Elliot opens it up. "I was about to leave."

"Oh, no. I just wanted to go over some paper work." I lie.

"Ok, then I will leave." He states heading back to grab his coat.

"No, I don't need to do it now. It can wait. All right, see you." I turn around and walk away so rapidly so that Elliot can't answer or ask any more questions.

**Olivia's Apartment**

I arrive at Olivia's apartment and before I knock she opens the door as if she was waiting by the door for me.

She kisses me and smiles. "Wow, Liv, what is this?" I see flower petals, the scent of candles, things that are all serene and relaxed. She always knows what I need.

I feel her hands as she pulls away my cases and puts my briefcase away, "I just want you to relax." She states ever so softly.

She intertwines her fingers into mines and she leads me to the dining table. "I made your favorite, Steak and Mashed Potatoes." She pulls out the chair for me to sit.

"Thank you," I say as I take a seat. "I appreciate this." I dig in as she pulls out wine and pours some for me.

After we are done, she takes me to her couch. "Olivia, I really don't deserve this." I tell her.

She looks at me puzzled, "I love you. I will be there for you even at our downs. How about you lean on me and tell me what's on your mind?" She states as she plays with my hair.

I lay the back of my head on her chest. We are both lying on the couch looking at the roof, at least I am. "It's about work." I state trying to be really broad.

I feel her chuckle, "It's always about work."

"Sometimes." I reply.

"I saw Eli today. He grew up so much." I feel her shift her head, "Casey, I don't know if it's just Elliot feeding his stupid theories to me, but I feel that we have grown apart since that night we planned that huge dinner. Elliot says you are different too." Olivia is so clever in her word choice.

"Well, Elliot is an idiot. What do you mean _grown apart_?" I ask.

"It's like you are either far away in your own world or fighting with me." She massages my hair with her fingers.

"Elaborate." I tell her.

She chuckles, "_Elaborate_? Ok, when Alex was at your apartment yesterday, Why did you stop me from kissing you? And It looks like you and Alex are the best of friends, now. Not that I have a problem, but she knows where you live? I trust you, don't get me wrong, but I am a Detective and I catch on to things…" She sounds like she knows something.

"So many questions. ..I stopped you because I didn't feel like it at that moment, and if it bothered you why didn't tell me?" I asked.

"I am telling you, right now." She chuckles once again.

"Remember that time when you went undercover for a year?" I know it was a bad time, but it was integral to my investigation.

"…yea…Why…?" She shifts.

"I hated you for volunteering and we split up because I couldn't handle it. When you came back you had another girlfriend." I feel her nod, "How did you choose me over her?" I asked.

"Oooh, an easy question. I knew you longer." She laughs, "I also felt a connection between us that couldn't be severed. I loved her, but you were different. You are beautiful and no one couldn't compare to you. I had more fights with you that always brought us closer. I can't explain…I am at lost for words…there are no words that can compare to what you make me feel every day. I love you and I just want to be with you forever. That answers your weird question?"

She wipes the tears that fall down my cheeks. Why did I do this to her? She is perfect, what every woman would die to have, yet I am cheating on her.

"Yea, I love you too."

We both fell asleep on that same couch. We woke up hours later and she carried me to the bedroom and tucked me in. She said she had to go, Elliot found the perp she was looking for.

**AN: I agree with you guys, I actually feel bad for Olivia. She is so loving and caring of Casey. I see most of you are Team Alex and Casey (which is awesome). I was PMed by a reader who wrote, "I think Casey should come clean and choose already. She is indecisive." Agree with this statement. I would like to propose an idea. I have Chapter 9 written and ready. If I get 8 reviews before 10 pm today, I will post chapter 9. If you rather wait a couple of days... that is cool too. (I am so evil, lol) plus I love reviews they are so fun to read.**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Ok, you readers are really loving it. I think this chapter will not disappoint. It is really…interesting. Elliot is and always will have Olivia's back and if her suspects something, he will look into it… (Remember that) ;D. Another thing, Thank you guys for those reviews, you don't know how much I use them and incorporate them in the story and characterizing our main characters. I kinda used one of your comments for this chapter…lol. Thanks for reviewing: Sly One,** **Surfrider, steple, Butterscotch, Nobot4life, Mackster, Tracer, Cavak, and Sydney. **

**I want to clear things up**

**Sly One: **_**I noticed you recently changed your summary, many reader feel slighted when there is a change in pairing.**_

**I actually changed where it said, **_**more C/O,**_** because this story detoured and when to very different stops that I have intended to so I took that part off, meaning Casey can end up with anyone, Olivia, Alex, or none. **

**Thanks.**

**Chapter 9**

**Next Day: Office**

I didn't get to see Olivia this morning. She called to tell me she will be questioning a suspect on a case she's working on.

I loved to see her work. She would get so devoted to the job. A flaw: She is married to her job. I understand that the saying is used for single women who care about their jobs, but Olivia, although being with me, loves her job. In a heartbeat she would do anything for those victims. Maybe, to spare other's from what happened to her mother.

We never really talked about how she feels about being a product of rape. It's a touchy subject for her. I understand. She enters this world never knowing her father and then to be told 'hey, by the way, you are a product of rape,' sucks.

Then, there is Alex. She is so different. I have to admit, I have never seen her cry until I walked in on her with Olivia. She is the strongest person I know. She takes things in and absorbs them so quickly. She is very knowledgeable. Her glasses are such a perfect fit for her, too. I really don't understand why Olivia and Alex split up. Alex is perfect, ok everyone has flaws, but she is fantastic.

I am the idiot who is the screwed up between the both of them. Losing my job to a case.

I want to see Alex tonight. Olivia for sure will be working late and I can take her… anywhere. I hope she is open to new things. Olivia wasn't really, she liked having a set way of doing things and it had to be the same every time.

Why am I assuming she will say yes? She hates me right now. I am going to give her flowers.

I ask my assistant to send me flowers. After about an hour the flowers came and I head off to her office.

I knock.

"Come in"

I open the door and enter. Good thing she is alone because yesterday with Elliot was awkward. She looks at me and continues working. Good thing she didn't see the roses I got her. I lock the door and head to her desk. "I am sorry." I place the flowers on her desk.

She smiles. Yes! I finally got her to smile. "Thank you." She smells them and places them in a vase and pours her water bottle's water into it.

I head off to hug her. "I am so sorry about yesterday. I don't know what came over me." Actually, I do know what came over me.

I kiss her on the lips.

"Are we ok now?" I asked her.

"Yea, It took you long enough." She smiles.

I playfully push her, "Hey, you are hard enough to get and you are making me try this hard to please you? That is just cruel."

We both start laughing.

She leads me to the sofa. "I..."

Don't tell me she is going to say what I think she is going to say.

She stops and then silence.

I don't want to push it. My throat is dry. "Do you have water?" I ask.

She gets up and hands me bottled water from her mini fridge. "Thank you."

As I am drinking she seems to want to say what she was trying to say before. I hope it's not what I think it is.

"Casey, I have to tell you that I am in love with you." She states.

I nod as the bottle is in my mouth.

"I guess what I am trying to say…" She breathes in, "I love you. I have felt this for a long time…" she stops.

I spit out the water and I start choking. Did she just say she _loves me?_ Why did she do that? It's going to be harder on me to choose.

"Why did you tell me this? Now of all times Alex. This changes everything!" I notice this wasn't the reaction she wanted to see from me.

She looks hurt.

I turn away from her. I know I hurt her, but why did she do this. No, I love her too. Now this is mutual, we are going to be closer and intimate, like Liv and I…This is going to be bad, so bad.

"I don't understand. Why? Was this a moment for that? I just came to give you flowers. You screwed this up, Alex." I can't shut my mouth and I see the effects of my big mouth.

"Get out Casey! You are really bitchy you know that. You are rude and compared to me, you are diminutive and scared. Scared to show your feelings for me. At what cost, Casey? What cost? I feel like I am the only one trying, you just shut people out. What is wrong with you? Get out!" She heads back to her desk as I follow her like a lost puppy.

"I…can't do this Alex! I am thinking of the future. Alex, if I don't choose you, I am going to feel like shit because I led you to love me and you are left with nothing. I hate this, you know. I can't…"

I try to hold back the tears that are ready to come out. Alex is composed compared to me.

"Something that I always hate about you is that you can keep composed in a hard situation and I can't." She doesn't look at me.

I kneel down, next to her chair. "Alex look at me. Alex!"

"What?" she is so angry right now I can feel it bounce of f to me.

"I love you, too. I loved you since you came to my apartment," I smile and I see her expression change. "I just hate this…I hate it so much." I tell her.

I reach up to kiss her.

"I hate your big mouth." She whispers.

I smile, "I hate it, too." I stand up. "Today, Olivia is going to be at work all day…I was wondering if…we can go to your house and…"

She smiles, "Sure. Around 7:30, I have arraignments and court."

I nod. "It's a date?" I ask smiling.

"Yes, Casey. Now, go to your office before someone thinks something is up."

"Can you say those three words again? It has a nice ring to it." I smile as I get her to stand up. I have my hands wrapped around her waist.

"I hate you?" She chuckles.

"Hey! The other one, it starts with _I love…"_ I smile at her.

"I love you." She finally tells me.

My stomach flutters and I start to get goose bumps. "I love you, too."

I lean in for a sensual kiss, "I'll see you later?" I say letting her go.

"Yep, now go." She tells me as I walk out her door smiling.

Things just got harder.

**AN: I bet nobody saw that L-word coming. What do you think of Casey's reaction? (And her big mouth)…lol…She almost screwed herself over. Lucky, Alex didn't just throw her out. Tell me what is on your minds I would like to know. Thanks for reading and hey I am enjoying writing this for you. :) **


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Hey guys, this is actually a surprise chapter for you. I was contemplating on whether I should post this chapter up…so I told my sister to pick a number from 1-20. If it's the exact number I post today. I am posting meaning she knows me all too well…Here, you go. I think you guys might like this chapter rated M…Heads up. Thanks for reviewing: Madds21****Surfrider, steple, Butterscotch, Nobot4life, Mackster, Tracer, Cavak, and Sydney****. I say on to the next one. I actually have chapter 11 written and it is crazy... I hope you enjoy! I am really happy that I am getting people hooked. I kind of wish I didn't write it so I can feel the thrill of Casey and Alex's relationship. Then again I like being in charge…lol…Chapter ten everybody!**

**Chapter 10**

It is getting to be seven and I am anticipating the minutes as they go by getting closer and closer to seven thirty.

Alex was right. I am so scared. I hate being scared. I always have a plan, but this time I don't. I don't even have an idea what the future holds… only daydreams and wishes.

I should call Olivia and see what she is up to.

I grab my phone and dial her number.

"Stabler." I am puzzled. Why does _he_ have her phone?

"It's Casey. Where's Liv?" I ask with fear coming upon me.

I hear a knock. I cover the speaker. "Come in."

"She is undercover with Fin, doing a sting. She probably not coming home today. She will be there tomorrow for sure. I'll tell her you called."

Alex enters and I signal her to sit.

"Is this dangerous? What case is it?" I ask kind of worried.

"She can take care of herself, besides Fin is with her."

"OK, Thanks." I shut the phone off and smile at Alex. "Ready to go?" I ask.

"What was that about?" She asked.

I stand up, "Olivia is undercover…" I walk out the door.

The great thing about our relationship is that Alex and I can leave the building together and It won't look bad.

**Alex's House**

Alex's house is pretty fancy. It is also homier than mines any day. She looks at me staring. "I inherited this from my mother. She pasted when I was in witness protection." I found that she was trying to hold her composure. It must have been tough to lose a parent and because of your well being you couldn't even be at the funeral.

She walked to her couch. "I brought Chinese." She brings the food into her living room and hands me a fork and a specific box with my name written on it. There is no way she knows my favorite Chinese dish.

I open the box…oh no she didn't… "How did you know this was my favorite?" I ask her as I am stuffing my mouth.

"You order it every day. Your assistant tells me you can't stop yourself." She giggles.

I am actually surprised that she went through my assistant to make this night so perfect. I love her.

When were done, we sat back on the couch. She leans on my shoulder and grabs my hand.

"It is weird." She tells me.

"What's weird?" I ask.

"Our relationship. I never in my life thought I would do something this heinous. Especially, against Olivia. I…I am pretty sure we didn't mean for this to happen. It did, and as much as I feel like the most terribl-est person ever, I feel so right with you." She tells me.

"I love you. I hate that I do…I mean I love you, but I don't want to hurt you…It sucks, really bad." I tell her.

"I love you, too. Let's live in the here and now." Alex tells me with a smile on her face.

"You are annoying." I jokingly tell her.

She laughs and playfully pushes herself off of me.

"Hey don't push me," I say as I push her back.

She laughs, "I didn't push you." She leans to push me back, but I dodge her.

As I am laughing at her fail she pushes me off the couch. "Oww,what was that?"

I get up and I see her run into the room. I walk in and I see her surrender. "Ok, Casey stop, stop! I am sorry for pushing you." She is laughing hysterically.

"You pushed me off the chair," I state with more surprise than laughter.

"And I am sorry for that." She gazes at my movements.

I get closer and lunge at her and place her on the bed.

I pin her arms down and mount myself on top of her. "Ok, now, I just want to say, that was very naughty of you to push me."

"Casey, I am sorry." She is trying to get out of my grasp.

This situation is inescapable, especially for me. I lean to kiss her. I release her hands so she could grab a hold of me.

I help her pull of her shirt and she does the same for me. Now we are both with our bra's on. I want this to be perfect. So I want to do everything slow.

I feel the warmth of our bodies touching. He hands are especially warm as she moves her hands across my back.

I lean to kiss her neck. "mmm," Alex moaned. I continue to attack her neck. I feel her undo my bra.

She does this weird maneuver and now I'm on the bottom and she's on top. I smile at her. I lift my hand to undo her bra.

She starts to kiss me on the neck. They were slow deliberate kisses. "Alex…"

I love when she smiles against my skin. She slowly moves towards my breast. I feel her tongue sway back and forth and sucking. "Uhmmm," I mumble.

This feeling is incredible and I want her now.

I start taking off my skirt and panties. I am now fully naked. She smiles and does the same. "Alex, I want you now."

She leans to kiss me on my lips. "Slow down, babe." She grabs a hold of my lips with her teeth. While, we are making out I grab her breasts and cup them with my hand. I massage her nipple.

She gets back to my nipples and softly bites them. A whimper escapes my lips. She relives the pain by deliberately sucking it. She slowly moved down by kissing my stomach. "Ummm." I moan to her movement to my pussy.

I feel her breath on my clit. She starts to suck it and places two fingers inside of me thrusting faster and faster. "Alex…" She is moving her tongue in circles as she thrusts inside me. This feeling is overpowering. I think she can feel me melt in putty. I am trembling. I try to look at her, but every time a sensation passes through me I have the urge to arch my back. She continues to thrust faster and faster making her circle movements with her tongue faster. I feel the orgasm coming. "Oh My Gosh!" I say as it passes through me. My whole body trembling under Alex's fingers.

She removes her fingers and mounts herself on me. "You are great." I manage to say.

After that, I feel so immobilized. I want to do the same for her. I will just have to get composure first. I lean to kiss her.

Once I get composure, I do a maneuver so that I am directly on top of her. She smiles. I start for her neck and land on her hard nipple. I suck them. "Mmm…" she mutters. I go back to her juicy lips and massaging her nipples. She moans in my mouth and I travel back to her nipple leaving a trail of wet kisses down her neck.

I head straight to her clit and make my way to avoid it as much as possible. Reaching every crevice I can find and she tastes so good. "Casey, please." I know what she wants, but she not going to get it, yet. I feel her body trembling and she is starting to arch her back. She is so vulnerable right now and that's when I choose to help her release. I start with her clit and I let my tongue pass through it. She trembles at the touch. "Please, Casey." She is begging. I suck her clit, and that makes her body go in rage. "Casey!" She screams as her orgasm comes in like a flood. Her body flops lifeless onto the bed. I kiss my way up to her lips and let go when we each need a breath. I continue to kiss her and massage her breasts. She moans as I make my way back to her lips. I lick her lips. I stop to breath.

I mount myself off of her. "That was crazy good." She finally speaks.

I smile, "You're the one who is talented."

She laughs. I turn my body so that we are face to face. My heart is beating so rapidly, gosh I love her.

I grab the comforter and place it over us. She turns so that the back of her head is under my chin, on my neck.

She entangles her fingers into mine, over her stomach. "I love you, Casey." She yawns.

I kiss the top of her head, "I love you, too."

**AN: I know you didn't see that coming. I love doing that to you guys…at least this wasn't a cliff hanger…Lol…Hey tell me what you think? I like your feedback. Thank you for all the good feedback I really appreciate it. By the way, I hadn't noticed but **_**Jessie's Girl**_** is totally the song for this story, lol…Hahaha…that is super funny. Feedback is the way to go :) because guess who likes them.. yea this girl :). I have good news. I am free to write all week (you probably noticed since is post a new chapter like everyday) so I might just do that until my free week is over. Thanks.**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: This chapter my make you piss in your pants….but that's ok...lol I think you will hate Elliot after this one. :P I would. Thanks for reviewing: ****Madds21, Surfrider, steple, Butterscotch, Nobot4life, Mackster, Tracer, Cavak, and ****MHfanSmoezz****. This is really intense. I promise you will see more of Casey/Olivia (those of you rooting for them.) Review, because I like it. ;)**

**My Office**

I have been working all day and all that is on my mind is what happened last night. I am reviewing the same case over and over again. I think I forgot to do something, but I don't have to worry.

It's almost three and I haven't seen Alex, all day. I don't know how I am going to get through everyday not seeing her. She makes me work to please her. I like that, because that way I know I am doing something right. Ugh…I have to read this case.

I wonder what she is thinking right now. I wonder where she is. I want to show her that she has my mind captive. No! Casey focus. You have a job to do. Maybe if I just see her she will get out of my mind and then I can do my job.

I head out to open my office door and look who is standing at my door. "Going somewhere?" Alex enters. That saved me a walk. I lock my door.

I grab her hand and pull her in and kiss her and hold her ass. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I thought I was going to go see you, maybe to clear my mind." I kiss her again and lean my forehead on hers.

"This is more like it, Counselor. I like this side of you." She smiles. "I actually couldn't stop thinking about you either. It was so hard not to…after yesterday" She leans in to kiss me. She places her hands on my shoulder.

I pull her towards me to deepen the kiss. She lets go to get air. "We have to get back to work. Stop squeezing my…" She turned towards the door.

Fuck, Elliot! Why does this happen to me?

I let go of Alex. I really don't want to force her under the desk.

"Hey, Casey. I need to talk to you." Elliot states through the door. He is knocking loudly.

"Elliot…not right now. I am working." I state in annoyance.

Alex covers her mouth as she is holding her laughter.

I shake my head towards her. I warn her if she makes a sound she is going to regret it.

"Casey, it's important. It's about Olivia." He replies with urgency in his voice.

I remember what I had forgotten. It was to call Olivia or rather why hasn't Olivia called me?…It washed out of my mind.

"Ok, hold on." I say. I look at Alex and point at the desk.

She words to me, no.

What? I signal her again. I intertwine my fingers and plead to her. She knows how much I hate pleading.

She smiles and nonchalantly disappears behind the desk.

I breathe and head to the door.

I open it and Elliot rushes in. "I think you should lock that door."

I look at him puzzled. I lock the door and head to my desk and watch out for Alex.

"I know…" he states with his face growing red.

"You know what?" I ask as fear comes upon me.

"I know about you and Alex…"

My heart is beating outside my chest. I can't believe this. I am pretty sure we have kept this on the down low. I have not told anyone. As for Alex I really don't know. If this is her way of sabotaging my relationship with Olivia…she has something in for her.

I hope she didn't screw me over or so help me God. I can't feel my legs and I feel everything go numb. I hate this feeling. I want Elliot to leave my office. I want to go back to the past where I never opened the door and he never opened his mouth. This is going to kill Olivia. She is going to kill me and she will kill Alex.

I am getting hot and sweaty. My heart is beating so fast that I think I can see it bounce off my chest and to my spinal cord. How does he know? Did he spy on me? If he did, he is a fucking asshole. Why is he acting so protective of her? It's her life. If she needs a private investigator she would of hired one. Elliot is…ugh.

He has been meeting with Alex lately. I wonder if Alex and him are in this together. I haven't answered him yet. Ugh! I hate this so much. How can this happen?

"I don't follow?" I try to act casually. He is looking at me like I am a liar. I hate this feeling. I feel like running and get away from all this. I hate Elliot. Why is he in my business? I mean have you heard of personal space.

He is contemplating. "You are telling me, you don't follow? Don't give me that." He shifts in the chair and the redness in his face surpasses.

The red in my face… not so much. I don't know what Alex feels about this.

I shift myself in my chair and I can't stand this feeling. The heat of my body is killing me. I wipe the sweat on my forehead.

"I really don't know what you are talking about." I tell him trying to keep composure. I feel so many mixed feelings. I am angry, sad, scared, and afraid for my life. I hate this feeling. I am more shocked.

I don't want her to know like this. I try to pretend I have a lot of work and pick up my pen.

"There is no hiding this…" He looks at me like a suspect getting interrogated.

I hate this. I hate being read like a card. I pretty sure he already knows I am guilty. He probably told Olivia, and if he didn't he would probably tell her when he is done with me or make me come clean to her.

I am trying to find an escape to this. I can't seem to find one. I am feeling hopeless.

"Ok, I guess there isn't." I feel Alex hit me. I try not to react to it. I am holding my breath and I…ugh! I place my hands on my face.

**AN: I know, I left you with a cliffhanger (evil). What does Elliot know? Tell me what you think. I think I just might keep that cliffhanger hanging over your head until Wednesday…lol…I'm not that mean (or am I?)… I think this story is getting better don't you think?**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Maybe, just maybe. I am a little cruel. I left you guys hanging. I I think this chapter ends in a little cliffhanger too. However, I am very delighted to say this chapter is pretty cool. Psst…at all of you A/C lovers…I just think that…Olivia and Casey's Relationship really never was shown. It's just for the next 20 chapters…lol..jk…but I think you will enjoy it a little more than you think. I promise I will go back to the totally hot Alex and Casey :). Hey, I didn't wait till Wednesday. Thanks for the Reviews…a record number of 11 reviews came in for the last chapter. Thank you: ****Madds21, Surfrider, steple, Butterscotch, Nobot4life, Mackster, Tracer,**** tummer22****, ****Sydney,**** Cavak, and MHfanSmoezz.**

**Chapter 12**

"I don't know why you are trying to hide this. Everyone knows that you don't like Alex."

Once those words flew out of his mouth, if felt a sudden relief. That was a close one. I am trying to keep myself from screaming or laughing in joy that he did not…That was a close one, right? I can't believe this.

I just have to refrain myself from smiling. "I know…I am trying to fix that." I remember Alex was under my desk and I smile, "You know Alex, she is so spoiled and a brat. She can't keep her hands to herself. She screws people over..." Alex hits me. I try not to laugh. "What does that have to do with you?" I ask.

"Olivia thinks you are still jealous of Alex. She told me the other night…"

"I think this is so funny how Olivia tells _you_ all this stuff and she doesn't speak to me. I really need you out of my business. I don't care what you think. If Olivia wants to tell me something she will. Where is she?" I ask with anger and annoyance in my voice.

"Look, I just don't want her to get hurt, ok. She loves you and she hates how you are so distant from her lately. She thinks is because of the time she invited Alex to your house…"

"Elliot…look, I like you as a detective, but as a person you are very annoying. I'll talk to her later if that helps you. Please, get out of our business." I beg of him. What's wrong with this guy?

He smiles as if he achieved something. "Ok. I am out of your business." He walks out the door.

I stand up and walk to the door to lock it. I see Alex get out.

I don't know what to think. Should I be furious at Olivia or just plain pissed off at this whole situation? I didn't need to mention, to Olivia, that night that Alex slept over without my permission, because maybe…I wanted her there. Ugh!

I see Alex dusting herself off. "That is the last time I am being shoved under a desk. Next time you come to my office." I guess she is trying to get me to smile.

I don't want to. "Yea." I head for my desk. She sits in the seat in front of me.

"Look, if you want to talk to Olivia…I understand. I'll see you later?" She is so caring.

"I actually…I really don't want to see her right now." I'm _distant_? She is the one who is distant. She didn't even think to tell me she was going undercover. She didn't even call me. She sends Elliot to do her shit. I don't even want to see her face.

"Casey, you have a lot on your mind. Why don't we go out for lunch at Jake's and relax a little bit. It will be great for you. The fresh air..." How did I miss this girl? She was right under my nose the whole time I never stopped to notice her, but she noticed me.

I gaze into her blue eyes. "I would love that," I lean to kiss her. I grab my bag and leave the office with her.

**Jake's **

We just finished our lunch and just sat down.

After a long silence, Alex decides to keep me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, what are you thinking?" She gazes at me with her icy blue eyes.

"A bunch of things…"

"Would you like more Sprite?" The waiter interrupted our conversation.

I nod. She pours and struts away.

I take a sip. Alex stares at me.

"What?" I smile as I take another sip.

"Nothing…just… you are beautiful." She smiles.

"Thanks, you are not too shabby yourself." My phone vibrates.

_Hey…its Liv…I just found out what Elliott did to you. I DID NOT send him I swear. I totally blanked on calling you the other day so I sent Elliot to call you. Look, I just want to meet somewhere…at my apartment? Look, I know you are probably pissed…just reply if you can make it._

I stare at my phone. I close it. I am not going to reply. I'm _probably pissed? _No Olivia, pissed is putting it lightly.

"Who was that?" Alex notices the pissed off look on my face.

"Nothing…so you're ready?" I just going to hope she drops it.

She shrugs, "Ok. Let's go."

I follow her to the car.

She starts the car. I put my seat belt on and lay back.

"So… you are not going to tell me who made you so pissed all of a sudden?" She asks

"I really don't want to…" I close my eyes. Maybe if I don't move she won't talk to me.

"Casey…come on…I love to listen…just vent…it will make you feel better…I promise." She looks at me as we come to a stop.

"Ok…Olivia texted me…to see her…I just…I'm not in the mood to be talking to her right now. I don't want to fight right now. I just want to relax."

She fixes her glasses. "How about we both head back to work? You can clear your head and I will finish up my motions…then we can talk about what you want to do…sound cool." She replies as we enter the garage.

She is most beautiful when she cares so much. I nod my head.

**My Office**

I am actually focusing now and it is a good feeling. I finished several motions. I went over case and I am on a roll.

I actually left my door open, so I don't have to say come in all the time.

I am so divulged in my work that I didn't notice McCoy knock on my door. "I would like to speak to you for a moment if you don't mind."

I nod as he shuts the door. I wonder what he wants. I motion him to take a seat, to which he _always_ refuses. I give him my undivided attention.

"I see that you are working well and I want to cut your probation short, starting tomorrow of course. ADA Cabot tells me you are ready. I agree, you don't need to be watched as much and you will get more cases. Welcome Back." He nods towards me and heads out.

"Thank you." I say as he opens the door.

Did Alexandra Cabot get me out of the dog house? I am out of probation! I am not a failure. My pay is back up and I am super happy. I want to celebrate.

I call my mom, and dad. They are so excited for me. They are more than excited. I am excited. I won't screw up this time, that's for sure.

As I am about to call a floral arrangement for Alex as a thank you, Olivia sent me a text.

_Casey, Can you please call me. I haven't heard from you in what feels like days. Can you please call or text back. _

I shut the phone off. My hand brought up to my face. How something could turn your happiness to sadness. I grabbed my office phone and called Jim's Floral Shack. I ordered 3 dozen roses and a box full of white chocolate. I remember when we were drinking one night with the SVU team and Alex mentioned a guy sent her a box full of dark chocolate, when he knows she loved white.

I smile to myself. I am so lucky I am attentive and interested in stories. The earliest he can deliver them is in forty five minutes, which is good.

It's around six and I am almost done with going over the facts of this rape homicide. It sucks seeing this and trying to build a case out of nothing, but that's what I do for a living.

I look to see Olivia at my office door.

**AN: Hey guys I got's a twitter. Follow me momonono11, for updates and new stories :). Thank for the reviews. I really appreciate it. Tell me what you think? I love to read your responses and I really take them to heart and I listen. Keep reading and keep having fun.**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Hey, Thank you for reading. I forgot to mention it was a record 12 reviews for chapter 11 lol Thanks Lexie for that record…I have to say thank you for following me. Btw you guys are NOT giving me a hard time...lol… I spoiled you with A/C moments and you want more(there will be more)…I understand…but there is a method to my madness. In the next following chapters you will hate me for my cliffhangers…lol…Thank you for reviewing: steple, Lexie, Stussy, Surfrider, Nobot4life, Cavak, Madds21, Butterscotch, Mackster, Tracer…love my readers.**

**Chapter 13**

"Hey, I have been texting you and calling you. Your phone…it's been going to voicemail. Have you been ignoring me or is your phone acting up?" She shuts the door. I really don't see if she is sarcastic or serious because I pretend I am divulged in my work.

I really don't want to deal with this crap.

She sits across from me. "Look if you are pissed about something…tell me…"

I don't look up. I hate being ignored and I don't think it is fair for her, however my big mouth may get me in trouble on this one. To late… my mouth just opened, "I closed it…my phone I mean…"

"Look I am…"

I look up at her now. She is looking at me with remorseful eyes. I usually fall for that, but this time I will not relent. "I never said I was done. Look, I really don't want to talk about this…not here…ok?" I know she can see the anger in my piercing green eyes.

"Case…" she stops, "Ok…but where? When? You are obviously not going to pick up my calls. I think we should talk about it." She looks at me with her brown eyes. She pulls her hair to a ponytail.

"I didn't pick up your calls for a reason." I look up at her and she has a cynical look on.

"Now, what would that reason be?" she asks.

"Are you really asking this right now?" I lower my voice, "You went undercover, and you never even thought of calling me…your fiancé…you tell Elliot your problems…I believe that is what a _girlfriend_ is for…If you have a problem, you come to me not some asshole that can't keep his head out of my business…" I say and a sort of calmness comes across her face.

"I am at work all day. When I need to vent he's there, ok? I have a lot on my mind and I can't drive here every day and tell you. '_Hey Casey, I would like to tell you all my feelings about what happened last night.' _I won't do that to you. I hate making you feel like you are always doing something wrong. So, yea, I vent to Elliot to keep me grounded. I feel much better that I can talk to someone." She looks at me, "but, never have I ever thought that it would hurt you this much. I just…" She starts to fidget with her thumbs…ugh I know waterworks will be coming down anytime now…

"Casey, it's just…we are in a rut…and we have to find our way out. Our jobs are not helping either." She tells me.

"Our jobs, Olivia, or your job, because frankly, it seems that you are always on call. I know you are not in charge of that, but it just is. I really don't know why you even take night shifts." She looks at me.

"Wow, really? You want to know why I work night shifts…hmmm… it's to pay for that ring, Miss _Novak…_To _pay_ for that ring. I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would be too modest and tell me not to buy it…but, I did…for you…now I have to pay it off…so I have to work more."

Don't I feel like shit.

"I am sorry, I didn't know." I cover my face with my hands to cover my redness. I shouldn't be this pissed at her…I should be pissed at that partner of hers.

"You know I told myself…every moment I spend without you is like losing a puppy, hoping that when you find him, he will still love you and stand by you. I still feel like that, but _you _not so much."

She is right. I feel so pulled away from her intimately that I don't even know if this relationship can last another day. "I have an idea. We both take vacation days off. We can reconnect and have fun."

"I don't know…that is a lot of victims…" I give her a glare. "Ok…we can go next week…"

"For a whole week." I say as a statement.

"For a week?" I glare at her again. She smirks, "Ok! Ok! I will get a week's worth of vacation with the lovely, and forgiving, Casey Novak."

She gets up to leave.

"You are going to leave me without a kiss?" I ask smiling.

"Well I thought…I mean…I…" she is so cute.

"You thought wrong…" I walk to her and kiss her goodbye. "See you at home?"

"No. Work." She smirks and walks out the door.

"Wait." She walks backwards and turns towards me.

"What?" she asks with concern.

"I am out of probation as of tomorrow."

She lights up and is about to run towards me when McCoy passes by. "That's great. Maybe we can celebrate while on vacation." She tones down her excitement and winks at me.

I nod, "Maybe." She walks away.

Xxx

It is eight thirty and I think Alex is out of court. I decide to go see her. It feels weird not seeing her.

I walk to her office and knock. "I am busy," She sounds like she is stuffing her face.

"It's Casey…" I smile standing at the door.

"Oh…hold on." I hear her click clack towards the door.

"Hey," I enter and lock the door. "You have a little something on your cheeks. Let me get that." I remove the white chocolate off her face with my finger.

"Someone one sent me these flowers. It says '_thank you.'_ They must really know me to get me white chocolate, right?" She sits down.

I remembered that I didn't give my name…nosy assistants, you know. "I actually sent that to you. I want to thank you for getting me off probation."

Her eyes grew bright blue. "Casey, thank you. You didn't have to do this…"

I grabbed her hand to stand up. I hugged her. "I just wanted to thank you…for everything. You made my day." I tell her.

"Aww, the flowers smell beautiful. Thank you." She sat me down on the sofa with her.

"Welcome…I actually have to tell you something…" I wonder how is she going to take Olivia and me on vacation together.

"What?" she shifts to look at me.

"I am going on vacation…with Olivia…next week…" Alex looked sad. That hurts me more than she will ever know. "I love you…as much as I do…I want to see where Olivia and I stand. Whether it is staying engaged or over…I plan on telling her about us…"

"Did you talk to her?" She asks.

"Yeah, a couple hours ago…she came to my office…She…"

"You don't have to explain anything to me…I am the one who is helping you cheat…so if you want to hang with your fiancé, I totally get it." Alex touches my hand.

"Thanks. Look Olivia is not going to be home tonight so we can go to your house…"

"Yea, let me grab some chocolates and we will be on our way." She smiles as she gets up.

"Let me head to my office. And grab some stuff. You really like that stuff, huh?"

"Yea." She smiled.

**Alex's House**

"Can we finish what we started at your office?" Alex asks as I stand up.

"We can do whatever you want." I say with lust in my voice. I grab her close. I slowly let my hand trail down her ass. I pull her close. I place my forehead on hers.

"So you are really going to tell Olivia about us?" she asks, "you don't think she will go crazy?"

"I don't know…it's scary…I know it's going to hurt her, but its better that I tell her than she finding out herself." I kiss Alex.

"You think we would have a chance…I mean you think she will forgive you?" Alex breaks the kiss.

I move her towards the wall. "I think that we should forget about it until it happens." I lean to kiss her neck.

"mmm…it affects me….mmm…case…stop….stop…" I look at her.

"This is such a great moment and you ruin it because you are a little nosy. I hate dating Lawyers…they always ask questions." I lean to kiss her.

"You hate yourself? Look can we just talk…" I let go. I give her this puzzled look.

"Talk about what? How much we love each other? How much we mean to one another?" she glares at me. "Ok…we can '_talk_'." She would ruin a moment like this.

She takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom. She signals me to get in. I turn face her. "Ok…are you getting on the bed?" I ask as she just stood there with glassy eyes. "Alex!" She quickly turns towards me.

"Sorry, I forgot to do something. It can wait…" she lays down on my chest.

"Ok…what is up?" I ask her.

"Olivia…look I just want to say that you are being placed in a tough spot. You are brave. I don't want you to get hurt by all this if it was essentially my fault."

I know she cares about me and wants me to end up smiling at the end of this...but we all know that one of us will end up getting the short end of the stick.

**AN: Thank you for reading. This is the last chapter…lol jk…of course not…I can't leave you hanging. Tell me what you think. I have a twitter where you can tell me your thoughts momonono11. I will update there and give many sneak peeks of new story's A/C lovers. What do you think of her relationship with Olivia? Alex? I love your feedback. **


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Hey guess what we hit 100 reviews. I am thankful for my readers and my new ones joining in with the fun. This story is really fun to write and I really want to do a sequel (if this story calls for one). I thank you guys for really helping me develop this story. I was a little hesitant about this one...I read it again and I think you will like it. Thank you for reading and reviewing: Butterscotch, steple, Stussy, Madds21, Nobot4life, Surfrider, Mackster, Cavak, Lexie, and Tracer. Follow on Twitter momonono11.**

**On the topic of "What did Alex mean when she said she **_**forgot something**_**?"**

_**Well, you will just have to find out. I promise you will know when she 'remembers.'**_

**Chapter 14**

I know Alex has this fear that she will not be chosen. She has a fear that she will be left behind, to see my happy life with Olivia. It is not like that. I have a fear of leaving my comfort zone. A fear of losing my fiancé. A fear of losing Alex. I hope that somewhere in this twisted world I could love both…have both…I have a lot of fears, locking up an innocent man, a fear of dying. Most of all, my greatest fear is being alone for the rest of my life, becoming a bitter old ADA, who looks back at her life and having regrets. I don't want to regret my decision.

Olivia and I….we were love at first sight…Once I saw how passionate she was and clever she was I immediately fell in love with her. We were closer than ever. We would talk all night. I remember when I lost my ADA badge…she didn't tell me how stupid I was to do such a thing…she understood why I did it…I told her that I want to leave New York in search for answers…to do what…I really don't know…but she cheered me on. She was with me through my ups and downs. Lately, not so much…we have grown apart…maybe it was because of Alex's and my relationship…or it was just us…drifting away…

Then, Alex came into my life…out of nowhere…I hated her…but it seems like I hated her, for her crush on me, if that makes sense. When I am with her I feel… different. She is different too. I never thought I would see The Alex Cabot, shed a tear, especially over me. I love her and I don't want to hurt her either. She is so good to me. She is what I need now. I just don't know if that is what I will need for the rest of my life. I feel like I can tell her anything. I can be with her and smile. I know she loves me, cares about me, will do anything for me…but am I repaying that back to her? I can romance her, sure…but can I care about her like she cares about me…will I do anything for her? Some questions don't have answers…yet.

"…I adore you." Alex just said something and all I got was I adore you.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you, too." Alex's voice gives me shivers.

I like that she is always calm…in every situation…she cares about my feelings…I have to say when she took me to relax... I was awestruck. Did she fall from heaven? Every day I am with I fall deeper and deeper in love with her. She hates when I am tense or angry. She gets out of her way to please me and all I can do is tell her that her fate, with me, lies on a decision. A decision that tells her if she can be my girlfriend or not, A decision that can change both our lives forever.

Then this decision leads all the way back to me. It leads back to my feelings, my heart. I don't have an answer now. I don't think I will ever have one. I will just hope my brain doesn't bail on me if my heart doesn't work. It's going to be tough to see either of them out of my life. I don't think I can bare to see Olivia's face when I tell her I have been cheating on her…If I choose her…It will suck…she won't trust me…she won't want me. It will suck if I don't choose her. She will be devastated…but it's my decision. I can't base it on their reactions…I have to base it on me and my needs.

"What are you thinking? Why are you so quiet? It's weird…" Alex asks.

I giggle a little bit, "Sorry…I actually don't want to talk about it…not right now…I like the silence."

"I always get what I want out of you…I hope you know that."

I nod, "I know."

**Week Later**

I am packing to go on a trip with Olivia. Where are we headed? Miami, Florida. I knew a couple of friends who own a beach house and they said they will let me borrow it for a week. That is where we are headed. I did promise Alex I will call her when I get the chance.

The plane ride was great but I have to say looking at that beach house made my day. We were both a little jet lagged so we slept in the bedroom.

I woke up first. She was still asleep and I didn't want to wake her. I grabbed my phone and stepped outside.

I called Alex. "Hey, Lex it's me Casey." I gave her that nickname a couple nights ago. She was trying to order food and some guy who was foreign asked for her name…she had to repeat her name at least 20 times_. 'Alex, A-Lex…no…no…Lex…yes..Alex.' _So from that I just started calling her Lex.

"Oh, hey," I hear her shut her door. "I already miss you."

"I miss you too. We just arrived. Olivia is sleeping. I am hoping we get enough strength to do something today…"

"What's going on? Are you afraid? Your voice…it's a little shaky" she tells me.

"I don't know…I am afraid to tell her…how would that make you feel? Hey we are on vacation and I tell you I am cheating…doesn't sound like what a _normal _person plans…" I stare at the beautiful scenery ahead of me. They water crashing into the soft sand.

"Hey, you will be great just…tell her how you feel…I haven't been to Florida in this time of year…is it beautiful?" she is just trying to change the subject.

"Hey, who are you talking to?" Olivia comes up behind me.

I got a little startled and I turn around rapidly. "Hey, look I will call you later about the case. Alright…bye." I think I just left Alex in confusion…she'll figure it out.

"My assistant. She wanted to know who should take my case." She nods.

"Ok…I just woke up with a huge craving to party at south beach...you're in?" She asks still at the door step. The wind blowing in her face.

"I'm cheating on you." I can't believe I just said that.

"What?" she looks like she didn't understand.

I can't take it back it's already out in the open. "I am cheating on you."

"Ok...so we pack...and get the hell out of here..." She is hiding her feelings.

"Olivia..."I lean to touch her.

She quickly moves. "Don't touch me..." she walks away and enters the room.

I follow her only to get the door shut at my face. I understand that she is going to be angry.

I walk away to the living room.

_Bang._

Fear comes upon me as I rush to Olivia's room.

**AN: Cliffhanger or what? I know you hate me but hey I had to do it...guess what Casey blurted it out..on the first day of vacation...Tell me what you think...I have to say it is mean of me to leave you in these type of situations. Feedback is greatly appreciated.**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Say...did I leave you in a cliffhanger yesterday? Lol...it was mean. I think Olivia is a pixeled character in this story on that she is always distant and you rarely get a read on her. You know she loves Casey, a lot. She is in love with her and even with fights they seem to get closer...Sorry for the cliffhanger hope you can forgive me :). Lol. Lucky 13 reviews last chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing: tummer22, JeffHardy724, MHfanSmoezz, Mackster, Stussy, Lexie, Tracer, Madds21, Nobot4life, Butterscotch, Cavak, Surfrider, and steple.**

I am trying to open the door.

"It's ok the gun fell...I didn't think you were this caring over me, Case... If you were cheating on me...why did you accept the ring...you put me through all this trouble for you to hurt _me _in return." I hear her sobbing.

I jam open the door. She's on the floor curled up. "Case, I don't want to be near you right now..."

"I know there is no excuse in the world to excuse what I did to you...I want to tell you how it happened..." She makes me feel like I am a monster. That is what I am...I should have said no...but I said yes...Instead of telling her how I felt... I found it somewhere else.

She doesn't even look at me. She is taking this calmer than I expected... "I was in a bad place after that night...you know about the trust thing...I called Alex...she came over and we immediately hit it off..."

She laughed, "Ha ha that's Alex for you..."

"...I love her...she loves me..." she turns around. Her eyes puffed red and her nose is red also.

"I just want to know what went through your head as you were cheating on me...I was never going to find out?" she asks.

"I don't know." I tell her.

"Did you sleep with her?" She looks at me in the eyes.

"Yes..." She quickly gets up and grabs her suitcase.

"Good thing I didn't unpack yet." She isn't holding back feelings now...I think whatever she wants to say to me is going to explode out of her.

"Look, Case...This hurts...I am sorry I can't love you like Alex Cabot...The Alex Cabot I know is...whatever just...I don't want you near me right now..." I know she is trying to run away from this...but she can't...I want her to yell at me...take things off her chest before she does something she regrets.

"Olivia...tell me what is going through your mind...I know you hate me right now...that is normal...but I have known you too long for you to be this calm...I don't want you to do anything stupid..."

"Stupid? What about what you did to me? Was that stupid? I don't hate you...I am hating myself...I fell so hard for you and you led me to believe a lie." She continues to cry as she is dragging her suitcase to the rental car.

"What we had...what we have...isn't a lie...it wasn't a lie Olivia..." She stops and turns towards me.

"That was five years Casey...five years...if you didn't want to be in this why didn't you tell me...I fell for you..." She pulled out the keys.

"I am sorry...It just happened...it's not like I planned for this." Tears are streaming out of my eyes. I feel like I abandoned her.

"Look, don't worry about me...I should of seen this coming right? I am a detective...I pushed Alex to you...It's my fault...I will be at a hotel, this vacation really was a great idea..." She enters the car. The winds brushing through her hair, she looks at me with these loss eyes. A loss for words. She hates cheaters. She looked at me like she looks at one of those scumbag rapists she locks away.

Slowly she pulled out of the driveway. I did not run after her knowing that she needs the space, to recollect herself.

I am the one cheating and I feel so disgusted of myself. I am the one who is anxious. I sit on the curb and berate myself for my big mouth, and big heart.

My phone vibrates. It's Alex.

"Hey..." I try to say strongly hoping she won't notice that I am crying.

"Casey? What the hell happened? I can hear you sniffling." She states with a sort of alertness to her voice.

"Um...I..." I fall silent as tears gush out of me like a waterfall.

"What is going on? Casey!" She sounds scared for me.

"I told...Olivia..." I tell her. She is probably happy.

"Oh my gosh, sweetie. I thought you were going to wait until Saturday?" I know she is happy...I just know it...

"Alex, stop acting like you care...you wanted this to happen all along..." I continue to cry.

"Acting like I care? Look, Case...where are you? I can come in a couple hours..."

"NO! Alex, just stop...leave me alone...I didn't think that it would hurt this bad... letting her go. Telling her I am one of those idiots on the street... cheating on their girl...she trusted me, Alex, damn it! How can you trust me...how do you know I won't cheat on you?"

"Casey, calm down. I trust you because you trust me. I know your heart. You didn't mean to do what you did. Our hearts just have different ways of telling you..."

"Telling me what? That I am with the wrong person?...give me a break..." the tears continue to pour out of me.

"You need some space. I will call you later. Ok?"

I shut the phone off.

A guy is approaching me. "Hey, are you ok?"

"Yea." I say through my tears.

"You don't look ok...The beach is relaxing...you should walk a bit..you know, to clear your head. I am a friends of Robert's..He told me you would be coming with your girlfriend...he told me to watch over you." He gives me his hand to pull me up.

"Thank you." I grab his hand and stand up.

"Can I?" he leans to wipe the tears off with his towel.

"Thank you."

"Hey, no need. Just go with the person that makes you happy." I look at him puzzled. How does he know about my dilemma...I never told Robert.

I see he him run to the beach and disappear within a crowd.

That was weird. I decide to actually take a walk on the beach, to clear my head.

When I was younger I always wanted to go to the beach but living in a landlocked state... I really never been to one. I had a friend I grew up with named Robert, we were once a thing, but only to hide our true selves. See, he was gay and I am a lesbian. I asked him if I could borrow his house maybe to see if Olivia and I could get married here. I ruined it I know.

I took off my shoes and placed my feet in the warm sand. I look to the sky, which is very beautiful at this time. I remember something Olivia told me 'our relationship is like a lost puppy. 'every moment I spend without you is like losing a puppy, hoping that when you find him, he will still love you and stand by you.'

I think I just made my decision.

**AN: Hey! I think the next chapter is the last...which is so sad because I like this story...I think I can make a sequel work with Alex...(but the ending will be ruined because you read it here) lol...I will try. Thanks for reviewing, great stuff :). Of course...This is not much of a cliffhanger, but it does keep you guess on who is the person Casey chooses. I have bad news: I will not be updating tomorrow because I am going to an audition (wish me luck) and won't be on the computer. Thanks for being the best readers alive. Tell me what you think. **


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: For those of you wondering, the audition went great. It is to an indie film, which is great to start off with. I seriously think this is the last chapter. If I have not covered anything or left you in the dark... I will totally write another chapter to clear that right up... I have a story that you might like...It is A/C pairing...I wrote the first 4 chapters...I will posted it up so hope you can read and review... Thank you for reviewing: JeffHardy724, Nobot4life, steple, Tracer, Stussy, Lexie, Surfrider, Madds21, Butterscotch, Mackster, and Cavak.**

**Chapter 16**

I walk away from the beach to call Alex. I want things to get cleared up first. Something Olivia said is bothering me...'The Alex Cabot I know is...' she never finished.

I head into the house and grab my phone and sit on the bed.

"Hey, Alex. Sorry about earlier..."

"Hey, and it's ok. How are you doing?" She asks delicately

"You said you can come down here..."

"Yea, I can be on my way right now. I actually took the liberty to wait at my dad's launch pad for his private jets. I can be there in 2 hours tops."

"Ok. Good."

I think calling Olivia over is more than appropriate. It is nice to hear both sides of the story. I just hope she complies.

"Benson." She states.

I inhale. "It's me, Casey." I tell her.

She stays quiet, but I know she is still on the phone. "I need to talk to you."

"About what, Case, because I am really not in the mood to talk." Her voice is shaky.

"It's really important...It's about something you said about Alex...I need things cleared up..." I tell her.

"Well, have you heard the saying _what's important to you may not be important to me?_" I don't want her to give up now.

"Please Olivia...please." I am hoping she understands.

"I will come...I...we are over...ok...I just want you to know that." Her voice is shaky.

I shut off the phone.

**Two hours Later**

Olivia comes first. She was obviously crying before she got here. I wanted to give her a hug. She moved away.

A few minutes later Alex appears. She kisses me. It feels weird...kissing in front of Olivia.

I sit them down opposite of one another. I am in the middle.

"I just want to really thank you, Olivia for coming." I sincerely mean that.

"Ok...Olivia can you please tell me about the Alex _you _know...I can't...I want to know what really happened between you both." I look into her eyes.

She looks down, "I broke up with Alex. I moved on...she didn't...I started dating Abbie...Alex somehow got into Abbie's head and Abbie cheated on me...It sucks to happen twice you know...especially someone you were about to marry...I made amends with Alex a couple years later. She told me that she couldn't get over me and now she is...I believed her and I wanted you two to be friends...I was hoping she would give you tips or something..." Olivia was tear-filled. Her sinuses seemed clogged up because she sniffled a couple hundred times.

I look at Alex with lost eyes, am I just another one of her victims.

"Casey, I did those things...no denying it. I am way over Olivia. I seriously love you and care about you...more than you will ever know. I have done stupid things in the past..."

In a split second I see a figure lunge at Alex. Olivia was beating the shit out of her. "You don't love her like I do Alex. You are a conniving bitch!" Olivia had anger in her voice.

I hurried and pushed Olivia off. "Stop!" I yelled.

I look at Alex's face. She had a couple hand marks on her right cheek. She was not bleeding, thank God, but she was panting for air. She looked more surprised that Olivia just beat her than the pain that should be permeating her face.

"I am going to get ice. Please, be womanlike." I and some ice and I am glad that they listened.

I gave the bag of ice to Alex.

"I love you, Casey. I really do. This is _not_ some personal vendetta I have against Olivia, I swear. I knew I had to have you the moment I saw you. Then I found out Olivia was your five year girlfriend and now fiancé...I just saw what I wanted and I had to have it." She is being sincere. I can somehow feel it. I just hope my decision is the best.

I look at Alex and then to Olivia, who was rubbing her palms. Things are tense in this room.

It's going to be hard but I have to say this. "Lately, Olivia...we have drifted apart...I know you say we are over and I understand...You trusted me and I let you down. Being a part of this mess... I have to say that... I promise to never cheat on someone else as long as I live. I am human... I have needs...Nothing excuses what I did to you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I love you and I always will...but my heart lies with Alex Cabot," Alex's eyes grew wide. Olivia looked like she saw this coming. "I love her...She has become my best friend...my lover...my..." tears flow out of my eyes, "I never really stopped to admire her. After a walk, I really knew that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I am done hiding my feelings for her. I never intended to hurt you. I just want you to somehow be happy for me Olivia." I feel so relieved.

Alex doesn't move from her chair.

Olivia shoots up, "Have a nice life." She walks out the door.

I get up to catch up to her. I hand her the ring. "Your night shifts are over..." I tell her.

She nods and places it back in my hand, "I hate this so much right now. You can keep it...pawn it...I don't know...but I really don't want a reminder of what could have been."

She leans to kiss me. "Bye Casey." She enters her car.

I turn to walk into the house. "Alex?" She isn't on the chair. She taps me on the shoulder. I turn around.

"Stand right here. I wanted to do this in New York...but you planned a vacation. Now, that I am chosen...I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want this to be perfect."

I watch as men come in with roses. Each with a certain posture to themselves, it had to be a thousand roses piling up in my hand.

Then Alex comes in with a rose. "A rose reminds me of you...Delicate, serene, a gracious scent...It may prick your finger." She gets on one knee.

I am bawling right now. She pulls out a white box. "but hey that comes with a relationship. I am willing to live through it. I know this may be hasty, but I have planned this day since we both said I love you. I love you and I truly want to spend the rest of my life with you, Case."

She opens the box and lifts it towards me. "I fought for you and I won...kind of...I wasn't really thinking of get slapped around." We both laugh.

"I guess what I am really trying to say is, Will you marry me, Casey Novak?"

She is trying to hold her composure.

"Yes." I don't even feel like puking either. She removes the roses and grabs my hand and places the ring on my finger. She kissed me and hugged me.

I am really happy.

**AN: What do you think? Give me your thoughts. Head to my profile for an A/C pairing story coming soon. I will be working on Alex POV on this story so stay tuned. I love you guy's thanks for sticking around and reading. It was actually a challenge to post a new chapter up every day. I did it and I made it work. Sorry for leaving you hanging, but who else would leave you hanging and post the next day. Lol. Feedback is always nice. :) **


End file.
